Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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