we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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