Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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