I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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