i came on her dog
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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