K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
