ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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