I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
