what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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