I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
