If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
