I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
