Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
