I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
