my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
