yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
