help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
