Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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