The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
