it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
