He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
