been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
