How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
