I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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