she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
