She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
