i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
