last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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