Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
