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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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