just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
