I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
