I'm drive I can fine osifer
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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