So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
