I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
