There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
