He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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