Sponge bath it is.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
