The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
