Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
