Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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