I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
