I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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