I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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