i permit you to call me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
