Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
