I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
