you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
