Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
