i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
